"Psychosocial, a psychological community"

" Have you ever lived in Psychosocial?",

" Have you ever felt different form others?",

" Have you ever noticed that everyone always focused on you?" , or

"Have you ever knew that everyone always wanted something from you?", unfortunately, I have...

It had happened when I was in boarding school. Yeah, I used to have a good student life before going there. I was a city boy who had never care anything about learning. I had a gang who I always stuck with. I had a wonderful place where I always skipped classes to go. My gang and I always fighted against others,but in the end, I had nothing excepted I extremely made my parents sorrowful.

One day during grade 10's summer, I told my father I already decided to go to boarding school.

He was very surprised and didn't believe. He gave me a time for deciding again and last week before school opening, I replied same answer I used to.

Days of new life have started. Undoubtedly, I went to boarding school in a middle time of senior-high school, grade 11. I think you can guess that some students also teachers would pay attention to me immediately. That's right, just for an anonymous student.

It was a good time living without any pressure or any expectation. Everything seemed to be smooth. I have ate, slept, took a bath, studied, played, and have been punished like others till one evening.

It was a first week's Friday evening, my father came to visit me and might took me back if I demanded. There, in front of building, where my father's van has been parked, was a place where teacher stood and talking with my friend. In fact, this friend already knew my secret, I absolutely didn't know how, but I guessed he might asked some teachers in executive board. When teacher, in front of building, saw my father's van, she walked to pay respect my father and asked him "Why he came here?", "Anything could she help?". My father smiled and told
her to call me. She didn't doubt anything, just thought I was my father's nephew. She called me as I sat inside building and told me "your uncle was waiting". I smiled and walked to see my uncle. She also followed me and stood beside me. She didn't wait to ask what she wanted to know. She asked my father, "Was I his nephew?" My father smiled again and told her immediately, " No, he wasn't, he was my son,". Suddenly, her face changed into white and no word has been exposed from her, because my father was a principal of Educational Office of Suratthani Area 2, and this boarding school was one of his main responsibility because of its size, in another word, he was her boss.

After most school's populations knew my true status, everything seemed to be different. Those teachers, at first, didn't quite attend to me. they seemed more attracted and wanted to talked to me clearly. My father used to tell me " Do not get in any side of your teachers, you will be their shield and weapon of their scrambling social." I didn't take any side or any alliance. I just wanted to study and change my bad behaviors, but it was not easy as I thought.

I have been framed from my teachers also my friends flooded times. Some stories were FUCKING SHIT. I didn't know which part of their brains have been used to such BULLSHIT thinking. I have never appeared myself as I had high-position father. I have never used my father's authorities in order to engage them. They were knew well what my father could do. Although, they all knew, but they still didn't stop what they were doing.

Even I did something honorable to school, some maniacs usually said " Yeah, cause his father pushed him up." or I did something fucking infamous, as I've never did in this school, they usually had to say, " Yeah, cause his father could do anything in order to delete my black record."

I felt very lonely when I was in boarding school. It seemed nothing was suitable for me. I used to think " I wanted to go home." It was not like you have been lived in somewhere and no one knew who you are. It was like a prison, a psychological prison or moreover, it used to be my battlefield where you always had to alert all the time, you didn't know when your enemy would attack you again. I used to live by happiness, here, I lived by pressure, a FUCKING HELL DAMN pressure.

There were more things I'd love to split to my beloved readers. Those things which extremely and permanently changed my life forever.

Here, now, @Walailak University, I have found a social, a social where I could walk without any alerting, but not yet, not yet that I can turn off my alerting button, something is still warning me.

I'm not a thinking over person, nowadays, those impacts are still following me in order to warn me, not to surrender to anything I'm not wrong, just fight, fight for your believe! not only for myself, but for all related to my believe!

Big thanks to every readers who comes to read my personal detail I've never published before.

Thanks for being a part of my life, a part which once, nearly been destroyed! Thanks again.